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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.

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Next, I decide to check out the Yashio City Hall. It’s this big, modern building. I’m thinking, “Wow, they really went all out.” But then I see a sign that says, “No entry without ID.” Ugh! I’m not here to cause trouble, just wanted to see the architecture!

Japan urges 1.2 million to cut water use as sinkhole rescue efforts underway