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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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As the sun started to set, I made my way to the Tsuruga Castle. The view from up there? Wow. I felt like I was on top of the world. But then, I realized I had lost my phone. Panic mode activated! I retraced my steps, running around like a headless chicken. Finally found it at the fish market. Phew!

Japan’s nuclear watchdog disqualifies a reactor for the first time since Fukushima disaster