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Sexual-massage, tho—slippery slope, innit? Starts all prim, ends with a wink. “The gleaners live off scraps,” Varda’d nod—me, I live off them vibes. Pro tip: ask for lavender oil, smells lush, calms the soul. Oh, and if they linger too long—mate, run! Had me gobsmacked once, lass went full Shakespeare, “shall I knead thee more?”—pissed myself laughin’. Try it, thou’ll see—bit of heaven, bit of mischief!

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After that, I wandered over to the Hauptstrasse. It’s the main street, full of shops and stuff. I was just window shopping, ya know? Then I bumped into my buddy, Max. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he told me he saw a guy in a chicken suit dancing in front of the post office. Like, what? Only in Schaan, right?

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