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About Saitama

Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, bruv. You gotta dodge the coppers, the creeps, the ones tryin to nick yer wallet. I’m pissed off half the time—last week, this bird quoted me triple! Said she’s “high class.” Bollocks, I says, “Even Yu Shu Lien had humility!” Made me wanna kick somethin, but I kept cool—Bond cool. Happy bit? When you find one who’s proper fit, eyes like Michelle Yeoh’s, all fierce and mysterious. Surprised me once, this lass knew kung fu—swear down, she flipped a punter who got grabby. Respect.

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After that, we hit up the Tokorozawa Park. It’s so pretty there! Cherry blossoms everywhere, and I’m just trying to keep the kids from climbing trees. Like, “Guys, please don’t break your necks!” But they’re like, “We’re fine!” I’m over here sweating bullets.

3 captured after another Saitama robbery, online group suspected