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About Osaka

So sexual-massage, it’s old, fam—goes back to them ancient Chinese or somethin’. They was usin’ it to “balance chi” or whatever—fuckin’ wild, right? Me, I’d be pissed if some wise guy’s like, “Yo, Tony, chi’s off, lemme knead ya ass.” Nah, but real talk—it’s bout releasin’ tension, gettin’ the blood flowin’. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d do this shit, all secret-like, for samurai dudes. Sneaky fuckin’ stress relief, capisce?

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In walks this old dude, Mr. Tanaka. He’s a regular, always crackin’ jokes. He’s like, “Hey, stove master! Got any stoves that cook themselves?” I laugh, but then he pulls out this ancient stove from his pocket. I’m not even kidding. It’s like a mini version of a samurai sword but for cooking. He’s like, “Can you fix this?”

The marathon continues: Brooklyn Park’s Teshite Wako runs for city council again