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But here’s the piss-off: some dickheads think it’s all sleazy hooker stuff. Nah, mate, it’s therapy—releases stress, gets ya Zen. Had this one time, chick’s hands were magic, I’m floatin’, thinkin’, “This is the fuckin’ life!” Then—bam—she hits a knot, I yelp like a pup. Laughed my ass off, she’s smirkin’, “You good, bro?” Fuckin’ gold.

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So, I’m trying to calm him down while walking past Tarumizu Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the greenery and the pond. I stop to take a breath, and guess what? I see a bunch of kids feeding ducks. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of the ducks starts chasing a kid. I’m dying laughing! Like, who knew ducks could be so aggressive?

Japan puts alerts to the highest level for the Sakurajima volcano after it erupted