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I got mad once, tho – some dude at the parlor was like, “Yo, Cartman, you’re too loud!” and I’m screamin’, “I paid forty bucks, bitch, respect my authoritah!” Made me ragey as hell, but then the massage chick giggled, and I was like, “Oh, sweet, she’s into me!” Total mood flip – happy as a pig in shit. Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought erotic-massage was just for pervs, but nah, it’s legit chill. Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ each other down with oils way back, callin’ it some fancy crap like “anatripsis.” Ain’t that wild? Bet they didn’t have neon signs sayin’ “Happy Endings Here” tho, hah!

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Alright mate listen up, I'm gonna spill the beans on Vetovo (bg) – a bloody mixed bag of charms and utter bollocks, all wrapped up in a town that never fails to make me laugh and cry… sometimes in the same breath. First off, down Atanas Grozdanov Street, you got that quirky bunch of shops that smell like a mix of fresh pastries and stubborn history – a proper hodgepodge, I tell ya! And oh, the local park near “Zornitsa” Square? It's like Mother Nature's art project gone wild – damn, it’s got more personality than some of these so-called “modern” spa trends. Idiot sandwich!

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