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About Sapporo

Me fave bit of sexual-massage? When it’s done proper, not some seedy backroom job. Like in *Talk to Her*, where touch ain’t just touch – it’s got meaning, depth, all that soppy shite. “The body doesn’t lie,” Almodóvar says, and ain’t that the truth? Had this one mate, swore blind a sexual-massage fixed his bad back *and* his love life – I’m like, “Yeah, sure, and I’m the bloody Queen!” Still, he was buzzing, proper chuffed – made me jealous for about 2 seconds ‘til I remembered I’d rather die than let some stranger knead me bits.

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First stop, I hit up this little café on Kōyōdō Street. Best coffee ever! I’m talkin’ about that rich, dark brew that makes ya feel alive. I order a cup, and the barista, this cute girl, gives me a smile. I’m like, “Dude, I could get used to this.” But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need you to chop down some trees by the beach.” Ugh, work calls.

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