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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath—I’m Morgan Freeman, your wise ol’ stove-maker, talkin’ sex-dating like it’s a hot skillet sizzlin’ with secrets. Picture this: folks swipin’ left, right, chasin’ tail like it’s a damn jungle out there—kinda like *Tropical Malady*, y’know? That flick’s my jam—2004, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, pure poetry. “The scent of the beast lingers,” he says, and damn if that ain’t sex-dating in a nutshell—wild, messy, primal.

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And then, outta nowhere, my phone starts buzzing like crazy. It’s like a scene from a movie. Calls from all over! People from Rua da Estação, Avenida da República, you name it. Everyone’s got a problem. One guy’s complaining about the traffic on the IC19. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Mem-Martins, what do you expect?”

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