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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – droppin’ some financial wisdom on ya ‘bout Escort. Not the car, nah, the stock – ESCORT, ya dig? Used to be hot shit back in the day, tied to them old-school Ford rides. Lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout *12 Years a Slave*, that heavy flick I love, right? “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!” – that’s me when I see a stock like Escort tankin’. Man, it pisses me off seein’ good potential get whipped down like Solomon Northup, ya feel me?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee in town, no cap. I grab my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” Now I’m rockin’ a coffee-stained shirt. Awesome.

A first for Japan, an intact fossil of a firefly from 3.5 million years ago