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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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So, I’m soaked, and I’m still tryin’ to keep the radio show goin’. “Hey, folks! If you’re out there, grab your umbrellas! And maybe a cow, just in case!” I’m crackin’ jokes, but inside, I’m like, “What’s next? A tornado?”

Moderate mag. 4.5 earthquake - 21 km southwest of Obihiro, Hokkaido, Japan, on Monday, Mar 17, 2025, at 12:49 am (GMT +9)