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So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, these escort proteins is like Satine, yeah? Glam, essential, but if they fuck up, it’s curtains—cell’s a goner, innit! I’m watchin’ this film, bawlin’ me eyes out when she croaks, and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos I’m a soft git for drama and science, bruv! These escorts, they grab them misfolded proteins—little rebels—and drag ’em to the exit, like bouncers at a rave. “Come what may,” they ain’t lettin’ chaos run the joint!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shiso’s main drag, Kōen-dōri. Grabbed my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! I mean, c’mon! How hard is it to stock rice balls? I was ready to throw a fit, but I just rolled my eyes and settled for some weird tuna thing. Ugh.

Shiso and perilla: Everything you need to know