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About Sapporo

Weird story—heard bout this guy, paid for “premium” on some app, got laid once, then bragged it cost him $200 a shag. $200! I’d rather buy a steak and call it a night. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Sometimes you win, sometimes you’re broke and wankin’ alone. “I let him keep his dignity,” I’d whisper, but nah—he didn’t deserve it.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Sabae City Museum. I mean, I love history and stuff, but this place? It was packed with school kids. Like, a million of ‘em. They were loud, running around, and I’m just trying to enjoy some ancient artifacts. I swear, one kid almost knocked over a samurai helmet. I was like, “Dude, chill! That’s like, a thousand years old!”

Ayman Sabae