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About Sapporo

Oh honey, *breathless* “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” lemme tell ya bout sex-dating! As a prison warden, I see it all—lonely hearts swipin’ right behind bars. Sex-dating’s wild, darlin’, like somethin’ straight outta *The Wolf of Wall Street*. You got folks chasin’ lust, thinkin’ they’re Jordan Belfort, screamin’ “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” til the app crashes.

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I confront the guy, and he’s all like, “I found it!” I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just find a bike and claim it!” But he’s got this whole sob story about how he needed it for his job. I’m torn, man. I wanna be mad, but I also feel kinda bad for him.