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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”
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By the time I wrap up, I’m exhausted. I head back to my car, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, cursing my luck, when this old lady walks by. She just chuckles and says, “You should’ve used a spare.” Thanks, lady. Real helpful.
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