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Alright, lemme tell ya bout escorts—oh man, what a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Under the Skin”—you know, my fave flick, that creepy-ass Jonathan Glazer joint from 2013. That alien chick, Scarlett, luring dudes to their doom? Yeah, escorts got that vibe sometimes—mysterious, sexy, dangerous. “What’s behind those eyes?” I mutter, poppin a Vicodin. Everybody lies, right? They’re sellin a fantasy, and you’re buyin it, sucker.

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Finally, I get it going. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my lunch! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing this bird down the beach, flapping my arms like a madman. People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just a normal day in Kushimoto!”

Huge displaced boulders attest to an epic tsunami in Wakayama