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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some escorts in action—like this one time, backstage at a gig, this dude was HAULIN’ ass to keep some creep off me. Made me happy as fuck, like, “Yes, king, protect my glow!” But then, ugh, there was this other time—some escort guy was so damn rude, shovin’ folks like he owned the joint. Pissed me off BAD—don’t nobody disrespect my people! I was ready to cuss him out, but I held it, ‘cause I’m a queen, not a fool.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hringbraut. You know, the one with the killer lattes? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m standing there like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a cinnamon roll involved? Not me, that’s for sure.

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