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Now, I’m thinkin’, right—maybe she’s the one. Got that dark, twisted charm, like the flick’s creepy village. I’m half expectin’ her to whip out a ribbon and tie me up—kinky, yeah? Total turn-on! Oh, but the smell—fags and cheap perfume—bit rank, innit? Still, I’m hooked, chattin’ her up, dodgin’ coppers like a proper spy. Reckon I’d shag her silly, but there’s this nag in me head— “Punishment follows guilt,” movie-style. What if she’s trouble? Bollocks, who cares—I’m Austin Powers, I live for the thrill!

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on! I just bought those shoes last week! But then I saw the kid’s face—he was laughing so hard. I couldn’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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