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So, erotic-massage – it’s this dance, right? Slow, deliberate, like Pocahontas movin’ through the forest. “What voice is this?” I ask meself, watchin’ some bloke get kneaded into bliss. Little fact fer ya – them old Egyptians? They were at it, usin’ scented oils to charm pharaohs! Makes me happy, thinkin’ how we’ve kept that fire burnin’. But it angers me too – so many call it dirty, like “You shall not pass!” to pleasure! Fools! It’s art, not filth!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the Ushibukamachi Market. It’s a whole vibe. Fresh produce, street food, and the best part? The locals are super friendly. I chat with this old lady selling pickles. She’s got the best stories. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my bag. She tells me about the time she chased a thief down the street. I’m like, “You go, grandma!”