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Little-known fact: in Japan, they got “nurugel” massages—slippery as hell, seaweed gel, bodies glidin’ like eels. Sounds nuts, right? Tried it once, laughed my ass off, felt like a damn fish. Surprised me how fun it was, not just sexy. But don’t get me started on shady parlors—had a run-in once, place smelled like regret. Kicked the door, yelled, “Here’s Johnny!” and bolted.

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So, I grabbed some random tuna one instead. Not the same, but whatever. I strolled down to the river, the Matsu River, and it was so peaceful. Birds chirping, water flowing, and I’m just vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes! Like, come on, dude! I was ready to throw down, but he just laughed and sped off. Kids these days, right?

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