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But here’s the rub – some pillock tried racin’ me in a souped-up Escort once. Smug git, thought he’s the dog’s bollocks. I’m like, “Mate, yer suspension’s knackered, cool it!” He didn’t, crashed – what a plonker! Made me proper cross, but I laughed after – “life’s too short,” as Yang’d say. Still, Escort’s a beaut, reliable as a good shag.

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After that, I finally get a break. I grab some takoyaki from a street vendor. Man, it’s so good! I’m munchin’ away, and I see this cute dog just chillin’ by the fountain on Kitahiroshima’s main square. I’m talkin’ the fluffiest pup ever. I’m like, “If only my life was as simple as that dog’s.”

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