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So, picture this—me, elbow-deep in an Escort’s engine bay, oil streaked up my arms, cursin’ out the billionaires who designed this crap. That 1.9-liter four-banger? Gutless! Barely 90 horsepower, sputters like a tired old dog. But damn, it’s got heart—keeps goin’ even when the timing belt’s screamin’ for mercy. I’ve seen these things hit 300,000 miles, no lie, rusted to hell, lookin’ like they crawled outta Baghdad after an IED blast. “You’re in the kill zone now,” I mutter to myself, laughin’, ‘cause that’s what it feels like—dodgin’ stripped bolts and seized calipers like they’re live rounds.

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Then, we wander over to Shukkeien Garden. It’s gorgeous, man. The trees, the pond, everything. I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ all artsy. But then, I see this sign about the history of the garden. It’s been around since the 1600s! I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even keep a plant alive for a week.”

Bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki