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Now, *Brokeback* – “there’s no reins on this one” – that’s erotic-massage for ya! No rules, just slidin’ about, oil slick as a politician’s promise. I reckon Ennis and Jack could’ve used a good knead, loosen up that angst. Me, I’d be rubbish at givin’ it – sausage fingers, all thumbs, I’d probs elbow someone’s spine out! Got me thinkin’, though – what if I’d tried it on me ol’ mate Dave Cameron? “Oi, Dave, fancy a rubdown?” He’d have legged it faster than you can say *Eton mess*! Made me chuckle, that.

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Like, what the heck? It’s pitch black. People are freaking out, but I’m just sitting there, laughing. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a little blackout! We start singing random songs, and it turns into this whole thing.

Magnitude 3.0 earthquake strikes near Shungnak, Northwest Arctic County, Alaska, United States