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So, escorts—pricey, sure, but they’re pros. Not like them awkward brothel gals fumbling with yer breeches. Nah, these birds know tricks—stuff you’d never dream up sober. Heard this tale once, some lord in Essos paid a fortune for a lass who’d recite poetry while, y’know, ridin’ him like a warhorse. Poetry! Can you imagine? “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”—meanwhile, he’s gruntin’ like a pig. Laughed me arse off when I heard that.
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Then, I head over to the Akita Senshu Museum of Art. It’s got this chill vibe, and I’m feeling it. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the floor, and this old lady gasps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m fine! Just testing the floor’s durability!” She didn’t laugh. Rude.
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