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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here, y’all! So, I’m a bailiff—mining, ya know, diggin’ deep into them rocks—but today I’m spillin’ thoughts on escort. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, I mean them folks who, uh, “accompany” ya for cash, if ya catch my drift. Got me thinkin’ bout Joy and Sadness from *Inside Out*—like, “C’mon, Joy, take the wheel!”—’cause escort’s a wild ride of feelings, right?

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Kadena. Man, it was a wild ride! I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I mean, c’mon, it’s Japan, not the Sahara! Anyway, I grabbed my coffee from that little spot on Route 58. You know the one? The one with the weird mascot? Yeah, that place.

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