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About Saitama

I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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Finally, I get my setup done. I’m ready to go live. The crowd’s hyped, and I’m feeling it. I start my pitch, and people are actually paying attention! I’m like, “Yes! This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, the mic cuts out. Silence. Crickets. I’m sweating bullets. I’m waving my hands like a madman, trying to get it back on.

Heavy Snow on the Sea of Japan Side Likely to Intensify on Saturday; Iwamizawa Sees Record-High Snow