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But nah, it’s got perks—quick bangs, no strings, pure mischief. I’m chuffed when it works, like, “I am a god, you dull creature!” Hooked up with this Midgardian once—total fire, right? Met at a dodgy bar, she’s all “wanna smash?”—I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m Loki, I don’t kneel!” We’re at it in 10 mins flat. Little secret? Sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupanars,” brothels with menus, mate! Swipe-right vibes, just no phones. Surprised me, that—history’s hornier than us!

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Suddenly, the power goes out. Classic Tanjung-Selor! I’m sitting there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, just great.” But then, someone cracks a joke, and we all burst out laughing. It’s like a scene from a movie.

3 dead, 4 missing after speedboat capsizes in North Kalimantan