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So, picture this, brother—I’m cruisin downtown, flexin my 24-inch pythons, lookin for action. Not wrestlin action, nah, somethin dirtier. Findin a prostitute ain’t like orderin a burger, dude. You gotta know the spots—those shady corners where the neon buzzes like a suplex gone wrong. I’m talkin alleys so sketchy even the rats are packin heat. Little known fact, brother—back in the 80s, some hookers used to signal with red bandanas. Code, man! Like a secret piledriver move.

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit up the Iwade City Museum.” I’ve never been, and I’m curious about the local history. So I’m wandering around, checking out the exhibits. There’s this one about the Edo period. Super cool stuff! But then, I overhear this old dude talking about how “back in his day, things were better.” Ugh, classic. I mean, dude, we’ve got sushi delivery now. What’s better than that?

More road closures as work continues on £32.7m roundabout revamp