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Coupla years back, heard this tale – some geezer met a bird on a sex-datin’ app, right? Turns out, she’s a bleedin’ dominatrix! Whips ‘im silly, he’s screamin’ “more!” – fuckin’ nuts! Made me laugh me arse off, mate. Little known fact, yeah? These apps got secret codes – “420 friendly” means they’re tokin’ up ‘fore shaggin’. Wild, innit?

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I’m tryin’ to set up the equipment, but my headset’s acting up. It’s crackling like a bad connection. I’m like, “Seriously? Today of all days?” I finally get it working, and just as I’m about to breathe, I hear a commotion outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade! People in costumes, music blaring, confetti everywhere. I’m like, “This is gonna be wild!”

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