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But srsly, some escorts are shady. This one time, an escort “forgot” a player’s bag – ON PURPOSE – ‘cos he didn’t tip her. Petty AF, I stan! Made me cackle, but also, like, do your job, babe! “The only truth is exhaustion,” Jep vibes from *The Great Beauty* – that’s escort life, running around, no chill. I’d be terrible at it, too fab for that mess. Thoughts in my head? “Kim, you’d trip in 2 secs.” Truth!

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Then, boom! The door swings open. It’s my buddy Kenji from down the street. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about some festival on Shōwa-dōri. I’m like, “What festival?!” Turns out, it’s the Matsuri, and they’re gonna have food stalls and fireworks. I’m like, “Man, I gotta finish this haircut first!”