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But ugh, the creeps—hate ‘em! Some blokes treat escorts like trash, an’ it boils me blood. Wanna smack ‘em, yeh, “Respect ‘em, you twat!” Happy tho when I hear ‘bout ones makin’ bank—six figures, livin’ posh! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—sounds ace! Gollum’s quirk, eh—dreamin’ big for ‘em. “What’s done is done,” says the movie, an’ escorts get that—past’s past, coin’s now. Precious lil’ world, innit? We likes it, yesss, we does!

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Cross the finish line, and guess what? We win! I’m screaming, the crowd’s going wild, and I’m just like, “Yesss!” But then, I look down. My pants are ripped. Like, totally shredded. I’m standing there, a champ with a wardrobe malfunction. Classic.

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