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Picture this—soft music, dim lights, her hands goin’ whoosh, like waves on that lake in the movie. “What’s carried in comes back out,” the monk’d say. And boy, did I feel it comin’ out—tension, I mean! Ha! Not what you’re thinkin’, perv! Tho, lemme tell ya, some places, they wink and say, “Happy endin’?”—total scam sometimes! I’m sittin’ there, “Mmm… donuts,” dreamin’ of sprinkles, not sketchy extras.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for breakfast. Grabbed some onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. I swear, that stuff is like liquid gold. But then, as I’m munching, I see this old dude, like, totally losing it over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a spot! But nah, he’s yelling in Japanese, and I’m just standing there, half-eating my rice ball, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.”

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