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Me, I’m sittin’ there last week, right? This chick’s hands—magic, bro! Slidin’ like Leo on quaaludes, “I’m in love with the coco!”—except it’s me lovin’ the massage. Made me happy as hell, tension gone, bam! But then—get this—she’s chargin’ extra for “specials.” Pissed me off! Like, what’s this, a Wall Street scam? “Show me the money!” I’m yellin’ in my head.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for breakfast. Grabbed some onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. I swear, that stuff is like liquid gold. But then, as I’m munching, I see this old dude, like, totally losing it over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a spot! But nah, he’s yelling in Japanese, and I’m just standing there, half-eating my rice ball, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.”

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