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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh, the dreaded call. He’s like, “You need to go to the Fujiyoshida City Hall.” I’m thinking, “Great, more paperwork.” So, I hop on my bike and zoom down Fujiyoshida’s streets. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m just like, “Wow, this is kinda pretty.” But then I hit a pothole. Boom! Coffee everywhere. I’m cursing like a sailor.

View of Mt. Fuji Utilized to Revitalize Abandoning Shopping Street in Yamanashi Pref.; While Preserving Retro Atmosphere