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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I see is the sun peeking through my window on Via Roma. It’s like, “Hey, wake up, life’s waiting!” I’m like, “Yeah, right.” But I get up anyway. Coffee’s brewing, and I’m already feelin’ the vibes.

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