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So, I tried it once—total impulse. This chick, legit masseuse, had hands like a freakin’ wizard. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh, damn, this is HAPPENING.” Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked with olive oil—fancy AF! I’m layin’ there, half expecting her to whisper, *“Perhaps it’s better this way,”* all Wong Kar-wai style. Spoiler: she didn’t. But the vibe? Pure cinema, darlin’.

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So, I’m just minding my own business, right? And then, I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a cat riding a dog. Like, what? I thought he was joking, but he was dead serious. “It was a sight, man!” he says. I can’t even. Only in Irshava, I guess.

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