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About Bari

So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Then, I decide to take a break. I grab a slice of pizza from that joint on Via Giuseppe Mazzini. Best pizza ever! I’m munchin’ away, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. He falls right into a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. Poor kid, but man, it was hilarious! His mom’s yellin’, and he’s just sittin’ there, soaked. Classic Sant-Antimo moment.

James Beckom looking forward to playing professional basketball in Italy