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Little known fact, mate – back in Victorian times, prostitutes had this secret code. Like, a red ribbon in the hair meant “I’m busy, sod off.” Clever, innit? Bet Cronenberg’d love that – all dark and twisty. I’m buzzing thinking about it, proper chuffed. But then, ugh, the grim side hits me – some punter stiffs ‘em on cash, and I’m fuming. “How do you live with it?” – another movie gem. How do they? Balls of steel, I reckon.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down Via Roma, just vibing, when I spot this cute little café. You know, the kind with the outdoor seating and all that? I’m like, “Perfect! Coffee time!” So I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing with you!

The Crash Of The Su-27 Flanker "14 Red" At Salgareda Air Show