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Oh, and the pics—half-naked selfies, dick pics flyin’ everywhere—hilarious but messy. Like Veronica drivin’ blind in the flick, we’re all crashin’ through this horny chaos. “I don’t understand,” she says—me neither, sister! Sex-dating’s a trip, equal parts thrill and “What the fuck?” Worth it tho—gets the blood pumpin’! Just watch your wallet and your heart, fam—Bernie’s lookin’ out for ya! “Billionaires should not exist!”—damn right, they shouldn’t!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We need that article!” Ugh, the pressure! I rush back to my place, typing like a madman. Roccapiemonte, the streets, the people, the food—everything’s swirling in my head.

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