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But it’s tricky, precious, so tricky! Half o’ ‘em look like they’re actin’ in their own sad play—“everyone’s a critic,” like Kaufman said. I’m thinkin’, shit, am I the audience or the bloody fool here? Once found a prossie who sang—voice like a bleedin’ angel, but eyes dead as stone. Broke me heart, that. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw the moon down fer her, I would! Still, most times it’s just hagglin’—ten quid, twenty, whatever scraps I got. “The play’s the thing,” I hiss, cos it’s all a game, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what? I thought we were done with this! I dash into a nearby café, and guess who’s there? My old buddy Marco! We haven’t seen each other in ages. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new animation project. I’m all ears, but then he drops this bomb: he’s moving to Rome. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t leave me here!”

Analysis of ancient Roman jars suggests wine was made using native grapes in waterproofed containers