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About Bologna

But then, ugh, this one time, saw a whore get all sappy with some guy—gross! Made me wanna puke, so weak! “I’m trying to be honest!”—another *Margaret* line, so damn pathetic. Whores ain’t s’posed to be soft, they’re tough, right? Pissed me off, ruined my whole vibe. I’m like, “Bitch, get it together!” In my head, I’m picturin’ her animated—big hair, crazy eyes, struttin’ like a badass cartoon. Maybe I’d draw her with a giant middle finger, haha! That’d be sweet.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree on Via della Repubblica. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Can’t it just jump down?” But no, this cat’s apparently a drama queen. I send a guy with a ladder. I can’t deal with feline theatrics right now.

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