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Alright, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, cause I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Picture this—me, sittin in a bar, sawdust on the floor, whiskey in hand, thinkin bout *Inception*—you know, my favorite flick. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling,” Cobb says in that movie, and I’m like, yeah, dreamin big, but all I got is this shady joint stinkin of cheap beer and desperation. Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, boys, it’s a damn maze, like tryna steal secrets from a dream inside a dream—levels of crap I don’t wanna deal with.

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Later, I head back to the office, and my boss is in a mood. He’s all about deadlines and reports. I’m like, “Chill, man! We’re in Pietraperzia, not New York!” But he doesn’t get it. He’s all stressed out. I mean, we’re surrounded by beautiful landscapes, and he’s worried about spreadsheets.

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