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Exaggeratin’ now – imagine me, Mr. Bean, as a whore! Teeterin’ in heels, wobblin’ – crash! – lipstick everywhere, lookin’ like a clown! “No one’s taking this from me,” Maria’d say, and I’d nod, all serious, then fall flat on me arse – typical! They’re fighters, whores are, like ‘er, scrappin’ to live. Love that film, love their grit. Wotcha think, eh? Whores – bloody legends! Heh! *mimes trippin’ over nothin’*

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After that, I decide to wander around. I hit up Via Roma, and man, the shops there are wild! I find this little boutique with the coolest handmade stuff. I’m talkin’ jewelry, pottery, you name it. I’m about to buy this sick bracelet when the shopkeeper starts talkin’ my ear off about the history of each piece. I’m like, “Dude, I just want the bracelet, not a history lesson!” But I smile and nod, tryin’ to be polite.

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