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About Naples

I’m tellin’ ya, first time I got one—surprise, motherfucker! Dude’s hands were like magic, hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had. Thought in my head: “Am I allowed to moan?” Shit’s intense, like Boonmee seein’ his dead wife— “You’re still beautiful!”—but it’s just me and some oiled-up truth. Pro tip: find a legit joint, not some sketchy alley crap. Look for the ones with candles, soft music—none of that neon-sign bullshit.

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After my caffeine fix, I wander over to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I chase it down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!”

Libyan movement urges PC to stand by its decrees