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Escort’s dodgy, yeah? Not cars, nah, people—hired mates for lonely sods or bigwigs needing arm candy. Me, I’ve wired up vans for ‘em once, hissss, tiny mics, sneaky cams—caught a geezer yelling, “I paid for quiet!” Made me cackle, it did! Gollum sees the muck, the glitter too—some escorts, they’re posh, all “I’m too good,” but others, rough as old boots, spitting mad. Reminds me of Eilis in “Brooklyn,” torn ‘twixt homes, “You’ll feel so homesick,” she’s told—escorts, they’re homesick for normal, I reckon.

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As the sun started to set, I decided to head back home. But of course, I took a wrong turn on Via Cavour. Classic me, right? I ended up in this tiny alley that smelled like fresh bread. I followed my nose and found this little bakery. Best decision ever! I grabbed a focaccia that was still warm. I mean, it was like a hug in food form.

Pope Francis Appoints Salesian as President of Vatican's Financial Institution, APSA