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Here’s the deal… I get mad – real steamed up – cause these girls, they’re somebody’s kid, y’know? Like my Beau, God rest him, he’d say, “Dad, help the little guy.” And these gals, they’re little guys too! But then – mid-thought – I laugh, cause “Caché” pops in my head. “I’m innocent!” that guy yells in the flick, and I’m like, yeah, buddy, we all say that, huh? Ain’t none of us pure when cash’s involved.

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this street performer on Via Montecelio. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a movie scene. You know, the kind where everything’s perfect? I’m swaying, feeling the vibe, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day!

Rory McIlroy once called the Ryder Cup an exhibition. He knows better now