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About Milan

Now, I’m mad for “Lost in Translation”, right? That flick, Sofia’s masterpiece, got me all wistful. Bob Harris, poor sod, stuck in Tokyo, lonely as a lost sock. Could’ve used a ruddy erotic-massage, I reckon! “I just feel so alone,” he mopes – mate, get some oily hands on ya, cheer right up! Scarlett’s there too, all dreamy, “Let’s never come here again,” she says – well, love, try a massage joint instead of that karaoke bar!

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Next, we hit the historic center. I’m feeling good, showing off the medieval architecture. I mean, the buildings are stunning! But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in Fiuggi, not London! I’m scrambling to find cover, and my group is just standing there, looking at me like I’m the weather man.

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