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About Naples

Lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there. Saw this gal once, heels clickin’ like gunshots, skirt shorter than a possum’s temper. Reminded me of Sara Goldfarb, chasin’ that high, y’know? “I’m gonna be on television!” she’d say—well, this gal’s dreamin’ of somethin’, but it ain’t a TV screen. Made me sad, y’all. Sad as a hound dog with no bone. But mad too—why’s the world gotta chew folks up like that?

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We start cruising down Via Roma, and I’m trying to teach him the basics. He’s gripping the wheel like it’s a life raft. I’m like, “Chill, man! It’s just a car, not a spaceship!” But he’s sweating bullets. Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to play chicken with us. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. Marco swerves, and I’m yelling, “Don’t hit the bird!”

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