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About Ashdod

So, I tried it once—total accident, swear! Walked into this shady joint, thought it was just a back rub. Nope! Chick’s got hands like a freakin’ wizard, kneadin’ me into next week. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t legal, is it?” But who cares? Felt like a king! Little known fact: ancient Greeks were all over this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes, probly got frisky too. Bet they didn’t tell their moms about it. Made me happy as a pig in mud, but pissed me off too—why’s it so damn pricey? Fifty bucks for 30 minutes? Robbery! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I told the lady, “gimme an hour or I’m out!”

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Then, I met up with some friends at a beach bar. We’re sipping cocktails, and I’m telling them about my day. They’re cracking up at the seagull story. I’m like, “I should’ve charged that bird for my lunch!”

Eight assailants in rape of Eilat teen given years-long prison sentences