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Here’s a lil’ secret—did ya know sex-dating apps track EVERYTHING? Like, your swipes, your kinks—creepy, right? I read somewhere, 70% of users lie ‘bout their height. Pfft, dudes sayin’ 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—hilarious! I’m just over here, “Gimme a chance to breathe,” like Monty says. Don’t lie to me, bro—I’ll spot it!

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Then, I decide to grab some gelato. I mean, who can resist gelato, right? I head over to this little gelateria on Via Garibaldi. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter is super slow. Like, come on, dude! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve made it myself by now. Finally, I get my gelato, and it’s heavenly. I’m walking back, feeling like life is good again.

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